i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
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Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
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If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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