bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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