Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
