This is not my ceiling
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
