HIV tests are more positive than that guy
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
