I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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