Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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