how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
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