It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
