You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
