Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
