So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
