You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
