my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You were trust falling into bushes
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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