I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize