It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
