guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
