Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
