3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
