If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize