If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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