It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
