Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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