This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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