Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
