It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
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you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
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All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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