I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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