is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
