beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
