I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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