If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
