He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
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did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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