dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize