Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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