hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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