Yo dont text me then not text me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
