I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
