I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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