need another drink. this is the easiest way
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
operation harelip BJ is a go
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Randomize
