To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
