omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
