how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
