no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
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Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize