She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
