I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
