Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize