the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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