After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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