It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
