Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize