I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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