I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
