Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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