new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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