Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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